If that was your dad, he is hot
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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