I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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