I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
