youre lurking in front of me
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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