Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
