i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
