I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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