i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
