You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
