I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
