I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
