Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
