i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
