Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
