It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
