Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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