peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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