Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
we should paint friendship bongs
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