ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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