If i come over, it means nothing
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
