Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
