if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
