Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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