I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize