Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
