@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
