I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
