margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
