She announced her abortion via fbk
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
