Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
