Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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