Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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