We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
