I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
