I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
