I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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