8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
