She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
