Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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