Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
