ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I've blown a few things in my day
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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