remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
