We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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