you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
