let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
