I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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