Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You did what with his pubic hair?
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