I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
