We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
