I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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