Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
